Yellow Rose...

Oh thank heaven, I'm goin' back to Texas!!!

I should stress that I am not moving back home, but rather taking a nice long trip back home to visit family and friends. My parents haven't even met my new daughter, and I've been pretty homesick lately.

Fortunately, my current unemployment status affords me the time to go back to the Lone Star State and relax a little. It won't even be the normal blistering heat that southeast Texas wallows in most of the year, and we're staying till the end of October. This is just really great news, and even though it took some luck, a lot of work, a little swindling, and a smidgen of blackmail to get it to happen...it's well worth it.

I suppose I should explain.

Kayla's parents just purchased a new RV about a month back. They've taken a small trip to Bodega Bay, but they're itchin' for a cross country trek with the new ride. Meanwhile I've been trying to schedule a trip back home for well over a year now, but I've just been so busy with work that our plans constantly fell through. As soon as Cal and Susie (Kay's parents) purchased the new RV however, a trip to Texas was the first thing on their minds.

I am very fortunate to have in-laws like mine...seriously. They've made every effort to make me feel right at home since the day I moved to California. There hasn't been a day gone by, even the days when I missed home so bad I could taste it, that I've felt anything less than welcome here. They've even turned out to be phenomenal grandparents as well. It's just a wonderful treat and I am very thankful to say the least.

Now as for my folks, this is where some swindling and blackmail had to come into play. My mother misses me like she would miss air. To say I am her favorite kid would be an understatement, and while this is flattering -- it's also a big pain in the ass. She guilts me every time we talk on the phone, and cries each time I tell her I'm not coming back to Texas.

You see, this is a big deal in my life.

I moved here to be with the woman I loved. Sure it's not exactly the most sound reason to make a 1500 mile move, but I did it. Turned out however, that I fell in love with California. Sure it's full of weirdo’s and the occasional traffic jam but it's also a land of opportunity and my IT career really blossomed because of it.

I didn't feel like moving back anytime soon, regardless of telling my folks that the move was temporary; only 2 years tops.

It's been nearly 4 years now, and I have no intentions to move back yet. This is a really hard thing for a Texan to fess up to ya know. I mean, if I wanted to make a local call to God, man I'd make it from Lukenbach, Texas.

So either way, there's a lot of drama from my momma. She would love for me to come home with the wife and kids in tow, but there's also the little problem of her being an old southern woman.

Anyone from the south probably knows what I am talking about here. You see, a significant number of southern women attend institutions of feminine indoctrination as children. We call these nazi camps "Charm Schools" because they're supposed to teach you about proper manners and hospitality.

What they end up doing is churning out women like my mother who can not have company at her home unless she has been baking bread all week and has the red carpet laid out with the landscaping manicured to perfection.

Seriously, I told her we were coming out and she said no.

Mom: "Oh lord, I can't entertain company now. I haven't had time to prepare."

Me: "Oh Christ, Mom. It's just us."

Mom: "Do not take the lord's name in vein and no it's not just you. I need time to get ready for anyone.'

So to make a long story short, I had to employ my father, my brothers, my sister Tiffany, and even my Grandmother. I needed a team effort to break my mother down. I only had a small window of time to come out and visit...I needed to make the trip now.

Yesterday, she broke down under pressure and agreed. We're leaving Tuesday morning and should be back home in Houston sometime by the 16th. To add to the fun, my old man won a deep sea fishing trip out in the gulf, and we're heading out the day after we arrive.

I haven't been shark fishing in the gulf in years; this is an unexpected treat indeed. I'll be blogging on a regular basis while I am out there, so you'll be kept up on all the fun.

Dammit, I'm so happy I could scream!