Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group.
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, torture, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, galaxy wide opression implementation, and operation of a variety of laser-powered blasters, and high-powered starships. Intermitten slaughter of rebel enemies with trusty lightsaber (Red, preferred) is also required, and will be handled on a case-by-case basis.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and be action-oriented individuals and/or risk takers. A background in study of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant coursework in the Jedi Arts, from the University of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic languages.
Express consideration will be given to candidates with no children, or other living relatives, who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely competitive for this field. Our benefits package includes a generous severance award, company starship, and a dark-colored clothing allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to, and works closely with the Sith Master. Experience in such small team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before it happens. Applications will be accepted until the end of the Quadrant timecode 104456. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com
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Dark Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management, incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies. Dark Side CG (tm) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.
September 16, 2004
Way the workforce be with you...
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