Random thoughts....

Geena Davis is pretty. Sure, she's 8 feet tall...but she's hot.
(even moreso now that she's not so damn skinny)

America guaranteed that it could never recover from any financial crisis by its own resources last year. We've eliminated nearly every manufacturing and industrial job that "makes" anything, and stopped giving a rats ass about people importing our goods. Great job, greedy corporate veeps! You've killed the American Dream!

Kanye West is amazing, at times.

Mariah Carey, nearly written off as a hack without a prayer, is the biggest thing around now. Personally, I think it's attributable to an increase in male listeners. Seriously, she was always talented and men adored her. Sure. But when she divorced Matolla and suddenly decided she didn't need to wear a lot of clothes, she got a whole lot more attention. And while I like to pretend like I'm immune to that kind of thing, she got kinda chunky at the same time. I mean, throw some extra weight on any super celebrity female and I bet you she's gonna get 10 times as hot. (Sorry, Hillary Swank. You're just weird looking)

We buy 2/3 of our oil from Canada. Not the middle east. We're addicted to oil alright, and it comes in maple flavor!

Jay Leno is actually rude to fat people. I'm a fat guy and I don't give a shit about most "acceptance" BS, because nobody has to "accept" your width unless they're trying to sit next to you in a seat. However, Leno is flat out rude as hell and moves past "joking" when referring to anyone who isn't hollywood thin anymore. I never noticed this until recently. He's on some "tease the fatty" campaign. Watch out for his comments and you'll see he drops nearly one a day, if not more. Just tonight, he did a thing where he had Jenni McCarthy come out and pick a single guy at random to accompany her to the Golden Globes. She picked a late 20's-ish accountant guy who was a little hefty. He wasn't a big guy like me, but still not thin. Leno just keeps on this guy with comments like "Yeah, the costume people in the back probably have a 'one size fits all tux back there" and "do you need a bigger table?". Hey chin boy, Conan is way funnier and Craig Ferguson kicks your shitty monologue to the curb.

Have you ever noticed how accustomed you become to your own microwave settings? It's like, you look down on other microwaves for not having the same "Minute Plus" button.

There are some nights in Bakersfield, where I swear it smells like someone had a cow shitting right outside my door.

When you hear people talking about "intelligent design" and the debate it's caused in our country, understand that the news person doesn't even know what ID is, how the scientific community actually debates it, and why "creationism" isn't even remotely associated with it. In fact, I'm finding it harder and harder to meet a single soul outside of the biology world, who even knows what the debate is really about or why God isn't even part of the debate for nearly every scientist out there.
[I think I'll post about this more some other time]

Did you know that 1 in 10 Europeans is allegedly conceived in an Ikea bed?

One in 18 people has a third nipple.

The name Lego [you know, the toys] came from two Danish words "leg godt", meaning "play well". It also means "I put together" in Latin.

There was a girl I dated in Texas who dumped me because she drove over a piece of wood in her car. I didn't quite get it myself, but agreed to walk the rest of the way to my car. She was furious, and I've gone over it in my head a thousand times, because I was IN the car with her when it happened. Not because I made it happen or any other reason that would possibly make sense. No, it's because I experienced it with her.

My wife makes memories like that seem so incredibly hilarious and fortunate now. Thank goodness that woman dumped me.

The Japanese have a word "chokuegambo" which describes the wish that there were more designer-brand shops on a given street. I'm not kidding.

I'm legally blind in my right eye. This isn't something I'm really comfortable with yet, because I feel like it's not even true. I don't notice that my eyesight has been hampered by a parasite, but if I close my left eye and try to read with my right, I remember suddenly that there's a huge blob of whatever filling up the dead center of my vision. Now, my peripheral vision is still superb. In fact, every bit of the vision in my right eye, except for the very center, is as good as it has always been. I found out last fall that growing up in Texas around chickens did it. Apparently there is some kind of bug that gets in your eye and stays dormant for years. Nothing they can do about it, and it's annoying as hell if you get something in your left eye and you're driving.

Arnold Schwarzenegger should get his PR people to get him a traffic ticket. You might have missed it, but Californians are reminded of it daily thanks to his fat lip with the stitches in it. Arnold had an accident with his motorcycle recently. While riding with his son in a sidecar, he collided with a woman in Los Angeles. He wasn't cited for driving without a license, and if he knows what's best for him, he'd better head right down to the LAPD and get a ticket. I couldn't think of a single thing that could make a potential voter feel more detached from a candidate than inequality.

Astronauts are not allowed to fart in space. Seriously, they're even not allowed to eat certain foods (beans, cabbage, etc.) because farts contain methane -- which can damage a number of things on the space shuttle. Again, I'm not kidding.