Creepy Crawlies...

Okay, I hate spiders.

Seriously, I have a thing. I used to suffer from full-blown arachnaphobia, but for some odd reason (probably being married and a father) I've kinda shaken off most of the "heebie jeebies" I used to get from them.

Mind you, I'm not gonna start letting some jackass put a tarantula on me and let it crawl across my arm. I don't like the little bastards or anything. Rather, I now have an appreciation of them and I just don't wig out and scream like a little girl anymore when I see them.

Of course I live in California -- more importantly, I live in the San Joaquin Valley. There's a really large number of spiders that live with me in this agricultural Mecca. They come from all over the world, and not suprisingly, many of them are super venomous. Yay.



One of the worst is this little bugger, the Brown Recluse. If you haven't heard of this spider, you don't live in the southwest. Google search this spider and you'll find a score of gnarly pictures from hospitals showing what happens when this generally non-aggressive spider plants a kiss on you.



It's a simple brown spider, and if you don't know how to identify one then pay close attention. Do you see the dark little violin shaped patch on the spiders thorax? (the middle part where its head and legs attach)



Yeah, that's it....thats the identifier. If you come across a spider in Southern California, and it's all brown, about the size of a quarter, and has that violin thingy -- back the hell up. It's a serious spider and it screws up a lot of people every day. Tap your shoes out, flap your clothes when you put them on, and try not to turn over rocks without gloves on. Hell screw the gloves, just don't turn shit over cuz the Brown Recluse is creepy and Black Widows are everywhere, not to mention REAL Tarantulas.



And there's THIS bastard, who looks a LOT like a brown recluse. Especially when you're running the other way pissing your pants. It's the Brown Widow Spider, and it's only found in this valley and a few little spots in South America. Now, it's not as bad as its Black cousin, or the Brown Recluse...but it does make you wish you were dead if you got bit by one.



Nnausea, hallucinations, plumbing issues, you name it. Either way, this little guy was found in my kitchen today and it took me hours to find out what genus of arachnid he was. I'm gonna run it down to the entomology department at Cal State sometime soon to make 100% sure.

But I'm still creeped the fuck out.