Been gone too long......

Okay I'm a sap.

Technically, I have always been a sap. It's just that over the last few weeks I have become a really big sap because I'm lonely as hell. I miss my wife and kids so much, I can't think straight at times. Kayla, Oliver, and Charlie are on a national tour visiting all of her family in the Midwest and abroad. This trip is a scheduled 3-4 weeks or so. I'm on the tail end of it now, but it has been a bit of a stretch. I'm sure Kay would gladly trade places with me considering she has been on the road for weeks with two small children...and Oliver is about to turn 2 years old.

I mean, I know my son is terribly cool but any 2 year old is a big pain in the ass no matter how many "awwww's" and "How cute's" he can muster out of ya.

I just wish they were here though. We were both very busy the last 2 weeks before they had to leave for their trip, so I only got to see them twice before then. I'm on withdrawal really.

I have this un-naturally fantastic family.

Really.

My wife, is perfect. No kidding, I married the perfect woman. She's actually, honestly, seriously is the most wonderful human being I have ever come across. She has changed everything I ever believed in, by just being so remarkable. By just being herself, she has provided me with an example of what I always feel is missing in the world.

She is honest, genuine, and terribly engrossing. She has no clue how beautiful she is, and doesn't need to focus on anything to look like a knockout at any point in the day. She thinks with a logical mind. She's passionate. So much so that she can make you lose yourself in a single moment with her. She's accountable, and fair. She is more human than I can imagine, and yet she still seems out of this world.

I'm not kidding; a guy couldn't ask for more.

Now my kids are something else. They're brand new so I'm working off first impressions really. My son, Oliver has already begun his journey into this world with a big heart. I'm very happy about this because, quite frankly, he's gonna be a big ass country hoss.

The last thing we need is a child as big and freakishly strong as I was, mixed up with a bad temper.

He's already a charmer, and the girls love him. I have seen good looking kids, and I know how parents shower even the ugly ones with praise...but good lord, Ollie is a heartbreaker waiting to happen. People constantly tell us "He's perfect". This got so bad after he was born, that I began to just mouth the words "he's perfect" as they said it.

Yeah, change one of those diapers after he has a bunch of cheerios and raisins lady. Perfect indeed.

He's already very polite, and I hope we can keep that going. Most children born today are cultured into a state of acceptable crudeness. I hope that our kids don't feel terribly different when they go out into the world as "nice people". That kind of peer pressure to conform is so strong. He seems pretty strong willed though, so maybe I can teach him to appreciate manners, respect, and honesty...and have him be a big ass bully to people who don't conform to HIS way of doing things.

Essentially, anyone who knows me.....knows that I'm an egomaniac control freak who imposes his will on everyone else. I kind of like it, and I have had some basic principals ingrained into me that haven't waivered in the presence of peer pressure. I'm assuming that I'll try to kick down the "Do my bidding" knob on Oliver, and maybe make him a little more teachable than I was.

Charlie, my beautiful daughter, is a completely unexpected delight. Unexpected because I was terrified of having a girl. I always wanted one, and I really wanted to give my parents a granddaughter...but that didn't change the fact that I was concerned with being the daddy to a little girl.

Quite frankly, I knew she could wrap me around her finger.

And yeah, she already has. She can melt your heart from the moment she looks into your eyes. I'm so impatient to see what kind of young woman she turns into. At the tender age of 3½ months, she can make you feel like you rule the world with her smile, and then if she begins to cry I suddenly need to hang myself.

I'm so in for it, man. Just stick a fork in me.

So I'm a sap.

I miss my wife and kids, and I miss my life when they are here. I have a lot of stuff on my plate at the moment, and I know its easier to focus on it all with them away...but I miss them all the same. Hell, I'd even change a diaper or something.