Okay, I've got a million excuses.......just ask my wife.
Seriously though, I live a very dramatic, somewhat unbelievable, terribly funny life. People who hang out with me comment on this all the time. "Only you, man" is so common I can almost smell it coming. Things happen to me that shouldn't happen to one guy.
I've been the lucky/unlucky recipient of all manner of life's little clusterfucks.
So there are times where it sounds like I'm spinning a yarn, and others where I'm just flat out lying through my teeth...but I'm WAY smoother than THIS guy:
"It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position."
- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information,
responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job.
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