Introducing...

Vault, ladies and gentlemen...will fuck you up.

Mountain Dew & Jolt Cola have had the Caffeine champion belt for some time now. With an average of 70mg-80mg of caffeine per serving. This bottle in my hand delivers a mule-kick to the gut of 297.8mg of the stuff.

That's right, nearly 300mg!!!

Kayla and I stumbled across Vault a few weeks back. It was sitting on a Wal-Mart store shelf, and seemed harmless enough. I mean, it's a green "Hybrid Energy Soda". Come on, that means it tastes like Mountain Dew and probably has some Tannin in it. Right?

Oh sure, try 3000mg of Tannin!!!

If you've ever wondered why Gatorade and Powerade never made you feel like the "athletes" in their commercials, it's because they didn't have liquid crack cocaine in them! This shit makes you feel a RUSH, and I mean you FEEL it. There is no sudden "oh, I don't feel tired" sensation. No, that's for people who drink a few cups of coffee. This stuff burns as it goes down, and makes you shudder as it hits your gut. 3200mg of caffeine is the LD50 for the human body. That means that if you drink 10 of these things (easy for a soda junkie like me to do) you have a 50% chance that you will die.

Your body just keeps going -- even past the point where your mind has fatigued into a clumsy mess. I drank 2 of these things once, and I didn't sleep for nearly 3 days. You've been warned!